Why Can’t I Publish One Article per Week? Is it Squirrel Syndrome?

Or Maybe it's Just Procrastination

So, here I am, sitting at my desk, determined to publish an article once a week. My goal is to do so every Friday.

First problem? Today is Saturday. And the sun has already set.

This goal sounds simple enough. Just put fingers to keyboard, channel my inner Shakespeare, vibrate at my zone of genius, and voilà! A masterpiece will be coughed out. But no, my brain has other plans. You see, I suffer from what I affectionately call the “Squirrel Syndrome.” It’s a much nicer euphemism for ADHD which is getting a bad rep and is so. Totally. Overdone.

Picture me at my desk. My laptop is open. I have the concept in my head. Then something on my phone or laptop pings. I answer a few texts the shut down all the notifications. But forget one. So, my laptop pings again – it’s my WhatsApp desktop version. Ugh. It’s totally annoying how some of my texter friends use only a few words then hit enter, but they string together full sentences which means at least a dozen pings every time they contact me.

Before I know it, I’m deep into a rabbit hole of all the links they sent me to look at and respond about. One minute I’m trying to write, and the next, I’m watching a cat in a tiny superhero cape cuddle up with a mouse. I mean, how can I compete with that? The squirrel in me is practically jumping up and down, waving its little paws, saying, “Forget the article! Look at this adorable cat!”

So, I close the cat video (for now) and return to my article. But then, I remember I need to check if my laundry is done. Nope. That’s too bad, because now I’ll have to interrupt my flow once again to go check a second time to see if it’s done.

In a desperate attempt to stay on track, I pull up my purple envelope with graffiti-style bubble letters that says, “Substack.” Somehow, looking at it, I delude myself into thinking it will focus me on the task at hand.  

Did the washing machine make a “I’m finished sound” or was I imagining it? I’d better check. Nope. The load is still not done but it is getting close.

But I’m not one to give up easily. I return to my desk, determined to write. This time, I set a timer. “Okay, brain, you have 25 minutes to write. Pomodoro method magic – let’s go! No distractions!” I’m feeling good. I type a few sentences, and then—oh no! I hear a strange noise outside. Is that a bird? A squirrel? My brain is now convinced that this is a matter of life and death. I must investigate! Geez, the bird feeder is empty. That’s not very neighborly of me – I’d better refill it. So, I do.

After a thorough inspection of the backyard (which is completely uneventful), I return to my desk. I sit down, crack my knuckles, and position my fingers for success. Just as I do, I hear the “I’m finished sound” from the washing machine. I can’t resist the urge to go to the laundry room and shift all the wet sheets from the washing machine into the dryer.

Determined, I crack on.

S-Q-U-I-R-R-E-L!!!! Did I put a dryer sheet in there? I can’t recall. I believe that I forgot to do so. I’d better go back downstairs to the laundry room and put one into the dryer.

Eventually, I manage to pull myself together and finish writing.  Then, I breathe a sigh of relief. I’ve done it! I’m ready to publish, albeit a day late. But as I sit back, I can’t help but think about what I am going to write next week. Next FRIDAY, to be specific. The squirrel in me is already twitching with excitement, ready to chase after new distractions.

So, cheers to all the fellow procrastinators out there who somehow manage to get it done. Let’s embrace our inner squirrels! Perhaps we could also help each other out occasionally with a friendly reminder about the nuts we’re supposed to be gathering?